need a good laugh today cause life sucks?

Anything else! Ideas for new games, gossip, chat, jokes etc...
guest

need a good laugh today cause life sucks?

Post by guest » Tue Jul 26, 2005 5:20 am

go here and read some of the links

http://katerinasplace.com/

made me smile...:)

guest

Post by guest » Sat Jul 30, 2005 8:39 pm


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Old Man Johnson
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Post by Old Man Johnson » Sun Jul 31, 2005 3:45 am

Togo Knotwise of Michel Delving
---------------
Mablung Ancalim?
---------------
Red Tom Rackham
---------------
Passion is a big part of your life, which makes sense for a pirate. You have the good fortune of having a good name, since Rackham (pronounced RACKem, not rack-ham) is one of the coolest sounding surnames for a pirate. Arr
---------------
Interesting...
My webcomic:
Image

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sid6.7
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more smiling in you future!

Post by sid6.7 » Mon Aug 22, 2005 8:20 pm

here some more laughs...

http://www.ethanwiner.com/funnames.html

some of these are really real...LOL
if you run..you'll only die tired

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Fuzzy Wonky
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Location: Beyond human imagination

Post by Fuzzy Wonky » Mon Dec 12, 2005 10:33 pm

Social Software
Last year, my friend upgraded his GirlFriend 3.1 to GirlFriendPlus 1.0 (marketing name: Fiance 1.0). Recently, he upgraded Fiance 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and it's a memory hogger, has taken all his space; and Wife 1.0 must be running before he can do anything. Although he didn't ask for them, Wife 1.0 came with Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw and BrotherInLaw.
Some features I'd like to see in the upcoming GirlFriend 4.0...
- A "Don't remind me again" button
- Minimize button
- Shutdown feature
- An install shield feature so that GirlFriend 4.0 can be completely uninstalled if so desired (so you don't lose cache and other objects)
- "Abort" button (O.K. - that one's pretty bad, but had to say it)
I tried running GirlFriend 2.0 with GirlFriend 1.0 still installed, they tried using the same I/O port and conflicted. Then I tried to uninstall GirlFriend 1.0 but it didn't have an uninstall program. I tried to uninstall it by hand, but it put files in my system directory. Another thing that sucks - in all versions of GirlFriend that I've used is that is totally "object oriented" and only supports hardware with gold plated contacts.

*** BUG WARNING ***
Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient resources.
Last edited by Fuzzy Wonky on Mon Dec 12, 2005 10:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
-- NEITHER FOR NOR AGAINST (quite the reverse!) --
LIFE'S A TRAP. WE WON'T GET OUT OF IT ALIVE!

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Fuzzy Wonky
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Post by Fuzzy Wonky » Mon Dec 12, 2005 10:35 pm

Engineers
There are four engineers traveling in a car; a mechanical engineer, a chemical engineer, an electrical engineer and a Microsoft Windows computer engineer. The car breaks down.
"Sounds to me as if the pistons have seized, have to strip down the engine before we can get the car working again", says the mechanical engineer.
"Well", says the chemical engineer, "it sounded to me as if the fuel might be contaminated. I think we should clear out the fuel system."
"I thought it might be a grounding problem", says the electrical engineer, "or maybe a faulty plug lead."
They all turn to the computer engineer who has said nothing and say: "Well, what do you think?"
"Ummm - perhaps if we all get out of the car and get back in again?"
-- NEITHER FOR NOR AGAINST (quite the reverse!) --
LIFE'S A TRAP. WE WON'T GET OUT OF IT ALIVE!

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Fuzzy Wonky
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Post by Fuzzy Wonky » Mon Dec 12, 2005 10:42 pm

Why parents have gray hair
The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, "Hello?" Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster, the boss asked, "Is your Daddy home?"
"Yes" whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with him?" the man asked.
To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No."
Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"
"Yes" came the answer. "May I talk with her?"
Again, the small voice whispered, "No"
Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home alone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person who should be there watching over the child. "Is there any one there besides you?" the boss asked the child.
"Yes" whispered the child, "a policeman."
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
"No he's busy" said the little voice.
"Busy doing what?" asked the boss.
"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the fireman." came the whispered answer.
Growing concerned and even worried as he heard the sound of a helicopter through the ear piece on the phone the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?!" asked the boss, now getting alarmed.
In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper."
Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little frustrated, the boss asked, "What are they searching for?!"
Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle, "Me!"
-- NEITHER FOR NOR AGAINST (quite the reverse!) --
LIFE'S A TRAP. WE WON'T GET OUT OF IT ALIVE!

hilarious

Post by hilarious » Fri Feb 03, 2006 3:33 am

Why Are Men Happy?

Men Are Just Happy People-- What do you expect from such simple
creatures?

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You don't spend even a minute wondering if your butt looks fat in
this pair of pants
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
Dirty jokes are funny
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this
one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a
bolt.
Sweat is just a way of cooling the body.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your
friend.
Even if your friend is wearing an identical outfit.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
Three neckties last an entire year. And provide variety.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
You can get together with other adults and play with toys.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25
minutes.
No wonder men are happy .



hahhahaahaha burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp.....oh yeah its great!

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Fighter_Ace
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Post by Fighter_Ace » Sun Feb 05, 2006 9:04 pm

Only one problem, you are looking at this only from one viewpoint. Let me explain.

Non-benefits of being a guy:
  • You get twitterpated very easy (Well, most guys these days anyway)
  • You can't cry when you feel really down, sad, or disappointed
  • You have to control most of your emotions
  • In movies, girls are always whooping OUR butts :lol: (Lame, I know... but funny!)
  • You are the one that has to ask a girl out on a date
  • You look like a loser if you don't know how to play sports
  • If a boat is sinking, chances are you are going to be saved AFTER the women
  • You can get drafted into the military
  • You have a very sensitive spot that is very vulnerable to pain and damage (Ya gotta admit... that ones a downer :wink: )
  • You can't very well feel self conscious or "chicken out" of life
  • Last but not least, you HAVE to work for a living
It may be great sometimes, but at other times, not so much.

Lol! *Looks at his examples* Man, I came up with like, only 10% of what you gave! Maybe I do like being a guy more. Yeah, I guess I do almost always :D . Just that, um, "private spot" has always really annoyed me :shock: ! *Grunts* Uggh, not fairImage! Did you know that if a guy stays in a hot jacuzzi too long that he can damage... *Pauses* Heh heh, never mind.
My thanks and best regards to all my former submitters.

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Bob Janova
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Post by Bob Janova » Mon Feb 06, 2006 12:31 pm

You get twitterpated very easy
Um ... what does that mean?
You can get drafted into the military
You're living in the wrong country :P.

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Andy
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Post by Andy » Mon Feb 06, 2006 6:42 pm

pretty sure you can get drafted in most countries, just none too many are doing it at the moment - at least you septics get a shedload of cash 4 joining up!! its ridiculous. best i cant hope for is to work up to a ?1200 yearly bonus, over 3-5 years!!
________
vaporizers
Last edited by Andy on Sat Feb 05, 2011 1:44 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Fighter_Ace
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Post by Fighter_Ace » Tue Feb 07, 2006 12:20 am

Bob Janova wrote:
You get twitterpated very easy
Um ... what does that mean?
It's like when you fall into deep love and can't control yourself. You're in another dimension in your mind and can't think clearly. Lol.
My thanks and best regards to all my former submitters.

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Fighter_Ace
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Post by Fighter_Ace » Tue Feb 28, 2006 10:22 pm

Joke-O-Da-Day:

A dumb blond walks into a store intending to buy a TV. She soon finds the one she wants.

"Hello Sir, I would like to buy this TV," she states.

"I'm sorry miss, we don't sell them to dumb blonds... had too many accidents," the manager replied.

"Humfh!" stormed the blond.

The next day she came back after dyeing her hair brown.

"Cghmm," clearing her throat she continued, "I would like to buy this TV."

"No, I'm sorry, we don't sell them to blonds," informed the employee.

"Ridiculous!" the blond replied.

The next day she came back but this time with blue hair.

"I'm gunna buy this TV," the blond insisted.

"Nocando! We have a policy about selling stuff our stuff to dumb blonds," informed the assistant.

"How the heck do you know I am a blond!" she stormed.

"Umm, that's a microwave... not a TV," said the assistant with a sigh.
My thanks and best regards to all my former submitters.

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Fighter_Ace
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Post by Fighter_Ace » Thu Mar 02, 2006 1:28 am

Joke-O-Da-Day:

There are three men going to a good friends funeral. Each of them agreed to throw in $100 for good luck. The next day, the three men decided to go out to lunch...

"I can't take it anymore!" shouted the first one. "I didn't throw in $100... only a bag full of newspaper clippings." He soon felt very relieved that he told his friends the truth.

"All right! All right!" mumbled the second one, seeing that his friend was also being honest. "I'll admit it, I only threw in half... $50!"

*Gasp* "How could you two!" steamed the third. "I DID give him it and you guys have the guts to bail out?! You outta be ashamed! I wrote out a whole check for the $100!"
My thanks and best regards to all my former submitters.

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sid6.7
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Post by sid6.7 » Thu Mar 02, 2006 10:14 am

those are funny man...THANKS!
:D
if you run..you'll only die tired

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