Let's try some logic
While visiting England recently, George W. Bush was invited to have tea with the Queen.
Given his recent political problems, he decides to take advantage of her years of leadership experience and asks her for her advice. She responds that she surrounds herself with the most intelligent people she can find and lets them do their jobs.
Intrigued with this novel theory, Bush asks her how she is able to tell if the people are intelligent.
"I do so by asking them a test question" responds the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate."
The Queen then dials 10 Downing Street and asks to speak to Tony Blair. "Mr. Prime Minister, please answer a hypothetical question for me."
"I'll do my best, Your Majesty" responds Blair.
"Your mother has a child and your father has a child" says the Queen. "The child is not your brother or your sister. Who is the child?"
Tony Blair hesitates momentarily and then confidently replies, "Well, Your Majesty, I guess it would have to be me."
"Correct" says the Queen. "Thank you and good day to you Sir."
The Queen hangs up and says "Did you hear that Mr. Bush? See how clever he is."
Impressed, Bush replies "I certainly did. I'll definitely be using that one when I conduct my next Cabinet shuffle back in the US."
Upon returning to Washington, Bush decides he'd better put some of his senior Cabinet Members to the test. He summons Dick Cheney to his office and says, "Dick, I wonder if you could answer a question for me?"
"Why of course Sir" Cheney responds unenthusiastically, annoyed that the President was again seeking his input on something.
"Well, uh, let's say your mother has a child and your father too has a child. This child is not your brother and also is not your sister. Who is it?"
Somewhat surprised at this odd question, Cheney hems and haws and finally asks if he can have some time to think about it.
"Certainly" responds Bush.
Cheney imfootball and eating snack foods under the careful observation of the Secret Service on the lookout for choking).
" I know the answer to your question, you Idiot!! I know who the child is!!"
Bush, who was privately becoming a bit concerned at the delay in hearing back from Cheney, is delighted (when he finally remembers what it was that he asked). "Who is it Dick?" he asks.
With obvious pride, Cheney replies "It's Al Gore, George - its Al Gore!!"
Stunned, Bush shouts in disgust, "Wrong you idiot - it's Tony Blair!!"
SO YOU SAID YOU WANTED QUIZ, DIDN?T YOU ? WELL, THOSE OF YOU WHO SMILED, HERE IS YOUR TURN TO BE PUT TO THE TEST. NOW CONCENTRATE, REMAIN CALM, SOBER AND LOGICAL, AND ABOVE ALL READ CAREFULLY :
1. Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain on Earth?
2. What is one thing that all wise men, regardless of their religion or politics, agree is between heaven and earth?
3. In what year did Christmas and New Year's fall in the same year?
4. A woman from New York married ten different men from that city, yet she did not break any laws. None of these men died and she never divorced. How was this possible?
5. Why are 1990 American dollar bills worth more than 1989 American dollar bills?
6. How many times can you subtract the number 5 from 25?
7. A taxi driver was called to take a group of passengers to the train station. The station is normally an hour away, but with traffic being extra heavy, it took a full hour and a half. On the return trip the traffic was still as heavy and yet it took only 90 minutes. Why?
8. Even if they are starving, natives living in the Arctic will never eat a penguin's egg. Why not?
9. How many times do you count the number 9 between 0 and 100 ?
10. In Okmulgee, Oklahoma, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?
11. There were an electrician and a plumber waiting in line for admission to the "International Home Show". One of them was the father of the other's son. How could this be possible?
12. After the new Canon Law that took effect on November 27, 1983, would a Roman Catholic man be allowed to marry his widow's sister?
13. What occurs once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in an hour?
14. What do you throw out when you want to use it, but take in when you don't want to use it?
15. What can pass before the sun without making a shadow?
16. What can you catch but not throw?
17. Without using a calculator: You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven (Wales). In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, 6 people get off, 9 people get on. In Swindon, 2 people get off, 4 people get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off, 16 people get on. In Swansea, 3 people get off, 5 people get on. In Carmarthen, 6 people get off, 3 people get on. The bus then pulls into the Milford Haven bus depot ... What is the name of the bus driver ?
18. Do they have a 4th of July in England?
19. How many birthdays does the average man have?
20. Some months have 31 days. How many have 28?
21. Why can't a man living in the U.S. be buried in Canada?
22. Two men play five games of checkers. Each man wins the same number of games. There are no ties. Explain this.
23. Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What is the answer?
24. A man builds a house, rectangular in shape. All sides have southern exposure. A big bear walks by, what color is the bear? Why?
25. If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do you have?
26. If you have only one match and you walked into a room where there was an oil burner, a kerosene lamp, and a wood burning stove, which one would you light first?
27. How far can a dog run into the woods?
28. A doctor gives you three pills telling you to take one every half hour. How long would the pills last?
29. A farmer has 17 sheep, and all but 9 die. How many are left?
30. How many animals of each sex did Moses take on the ark?
31. A clerk in the butcher shop is 5' 10" tall. What does he weigh?
32. How many two-cent stamps are there in a dozen?
33. What was the President's name in 1950?
34. A boat has a ladder that has six rungs, each rung is one foot apart. The bottom rung is one foot from the water. The tide rises at 12 inches every 15 minutes. High tide peaks in one hour. When the tide is at it's highest, how many rungs are under water?
35. How much dirt would be in a hole 6 feet deep and 6 feet wide, that has been dug with a square edged shovel?
36. A farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in another field. How many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in the center field?
37. If it takes 3 people to dig a hole, how many does it take to dig half a hole?
38. In a certain pond lives a certain water lily the surface of which is doubling every day. Knowing that water lily needs 30 days to fill the whole pond, can you tell how many days it will take for it to fill half of the pond ?
39. You are standing in the corner of a tavern when a man walks up to you. You are cornered and can't get around him. He says. "I want to know about gold in the mountains. I always know when people are lying to me. Tell me a lie, and I'll kill you with a sword. Tell me the truth, and I'll kill you with a bow. Don't speak, or say something off topic, and I'll kill you with a gun" What do you say to stay alive?
40. How many mistakes does the following sentence have? This Sentance containes two misstakes.
-- NEITHER FOR NOR AGAINST (quite the reverse!) --
LIFE'S A TRAP. WE WON'T GET OUT OF IT ALIVE!